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Dear reader,

I understand that receiving an unexpected invitation from our company must be very confusing and upsetting for you. A coworker, family member, or friend, has anonymously volunteered you to undergo a state-of-the-art form of therapy. I am sure that you are aware of the antiquated practise of "homosexual conversion therapy." Unlike this faulty procedure, which irreversibly damaged the minds of countless gay men, our company diligently works to reverse the trauma caused to our society by toxic heterosexual ideals.

Our cutting-edge program, appropriately named "straight conversion therapy," has been successful in turning hundreds of heterosexual men into cock-obsessed, filthy whores. After heteronormative domination triggered society's downfall, I and select other master psychologists designed this program to combat the unfortunate aftermath and prevent future catastrophe. Heterosexual males reigned supreme while innocent citizens suffered the consequences, but now, we have a chance to fight back. And you, dear reader, have the opportunity to fight on the front lines.

If you decide to move forward with this treatment, which we sincerely hope you do, please reply to this email with your preferred method of contact, and a Patient Coordinator will arrange an appointment for your introductory therapy session. I, Dr. Ciara Peitho, the chief psychologist involved in this program, will be one-hundred percent involved in your sexual awakening.

We hope you understand the uniqueness of this opportunity.

Looking forward to hearing from you,
Ciara Peithos PhD